Winter Recess

Looking forward to Logan's school break next week. Usually, we had to Florida for annual family visit. Money and the unpredictably weather grounded us home. I need to sneak in one day to work (it's an addiction and maybe some consider an obsession) but then its just great Karen-Catch-Up time.

Looking forward to a weekend of swim meets. They are super early each day, but not as unGodly as ice hockey. The pools are usually a good 30-50 min away. Need to arrive 1 hour 15 min early. Bleacher seats are tight and uncomfortable. You're there maybe four hours. People walk by and block your vision. All this to hopefully see your child in the water for the least of time. Translation: 3 races = 5 min or less in pool...worth every minute!

Also excited for some great friend-time. As Logan hangs in his social circle more and more, there is more "me" time. Good thing that I like me. I have some gifts cards burning holes in my pocket, renovated first-class library to hole up in, and some home projects hanging over me. Even more fun is time planned to be with friends. We have a Winter Cheer, dinners out, and some quiet cocktail moments planned.

Ahhh-Winter Recess...what's not to love!

90 and Loving It!

With limited effort, I did it...3 months later...down those last 2 lbs bringing me to a total loss of 90 lbs. As I said, this is - for me - a slow process but fitting into my life just fine. At the 60 lb mark, last May, I said "one day, it'll all come together." Well, it's February, and still waiting for that day. Could it be February 16, 2011? Hmmm! Maybe.

It really was neat as I stepped on and off scale 3x to make sure it wasn't just the way I leaned or wiggled. Truth be told, if it was a lean or a wiggle...I want to remember which way to lean or direction to wiggle next time.

My personal trainer keeps coming every other week. I'm not committed to the dark side yet (yes, exercise is the 'dark' side to me.) Though, I am making tweaks and am more aware of my activities and breathing.

Good news. This may or may not be a shocker...I AM getting the hang of meditating. (The opposite of the dark side.) That being the Karen Meditation Method. I try a few times a week to sit quietly, listen to Gregorian chants, light some Jasmine incense...and clear my mind. For somebody with so much running through my head, I seemed to have a much easier time then you would think emptying my mind. Loving it!

So I end this post, with a saying my sister shared with me...

"Onward and downward!"

Happy Birthday to My Dad

As this has recently been a bit of a birthday blog (sorry Kel-missed you on the 7th, but I'll circle back after our next K3 night when we'll celebrate our birthdays), I had to send out a cyber message to my dad. Since he is cyberly-challenged, I'll print this out for him. Here goes...

To My Dad,

Wishing you a blessed day and wonderful new year. May it be filled with easy times, peace, & good health. I could throw some love in there too, but I can't imagine loving you more. God bless you!

Always!
Karen
XXXX

I Am Woman

I am listening to my iPod to my theme song for my new year as I write this on the train. Each year, I try to find a song that seems to have been written for me-at least for that time of my life. At one time, it was Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." Another year, it was "Take This Job & Shove It." (Disclaimer: that was in 1993.) As you might have guessed from this blog entry's title, it is Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman."

To my international friends & family or you young ones (song from 1972), here is a little piece from it:

"I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend

'Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to
I can do anything

(Chorus)
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman"

I actually throw my hands in the air as I dance through the house, blasting it on the stereo, singing out loud each morning. (Logan has not yet witnessed this new ritual.)

So, now I ask you to find yourself a theme song. Make sure it inspires you and reply to this blog by commenting on your song. Share who it's by & why it works for you. I'd like to pull it up & listen to it-a different way to connect with you.

And so...I sign off reminding you...I am woman!

The Year of the...

Maybe this is becoming a "birthday blog" as I post yet again on a loved one's birthday...MINE!

Anybody who is close to me knows I looooove my birthday. The only birthday that I love more is Logan's. Since today is truly the one & only day that is about me, here goes:

For the past few years, I have slowly been fine-tuning the adult I want to grow up to be. (I think in another 25 years or so, I'll have figured it out.) From 2004-2008, I concentrated on balancing work with my new role as a single parent. Then 2008-2010, I concentrated more on breaking some diet habits & slowly embracing a healthier lifestyle. Finally, in 2010, I concentrated on career & finances. Well, it's time. This new year of 2011, may be bringing me full circle to the point of - wait for it - becoming physically fit.

The final piece of the puzzle. I may have found it. The puzzle being "Karen The Whole Person."

As I touched on some soul searching that I did in my last post, it has really effected me. I find that my inner voice occasionally still whispers some negative prompts but another voiceis is singing out loud (inside my head) only positive affirmations.

Today, I will begin with driving Logan to school. I love the talks we have which are fewer then they were. I'm no longer the center of his life. Hard lesson for a parent...but very normal. Then on to enjoying a walk followed by working for only a half day at home. Also some pampering with Kelly & Tina. The evening begins with dinner with Logan & Hannah after swim practice at our favorite wings place. And finally, end up at dad's for cake. I love my birthday!

So...wish me luck as I begin the year of the fox...or - if I'm lucky - year of the cougar! Roar!

and So It Begins Again

As a new year begins for a special man in my life, I thought it time to once again continue the ever-stop-and-start-again blogging of life in my butterfly world. Ironically, as I've shared in the past, butterflies live a short time but experience many stages of life. I too have experienced many changes since April 2008 when I first began this blog.

As another birthday approaches and secures my classification as middle-aged...mind you a very young one as I plan to live to 100+...I am experiencing a time of enlightenment.

I met somebody who made me (unbeknowst to him) rethink how I perceive myself. Just from a couple extremely comfortable conversations, I went from hearing old teenage-girl doubts to the current I-own-my-world beliefs. Within in 10 minute internal battle between angel on one shoulder and demon on other. My angel won. Yes, the devil seems to have velcro feet where I keep flicking him away and he pops right back up. But now, the angel holds on tight to my ear and keeps reminding me as Louise Hayes said "you are the absolute power in your world."

Thus, a new Karen has emerged. Allow me to introduce Hippy Karen. And I like her. From my law-o-attraction beliefs to my liberal and empathetic ways, I like this me. More on that too come; I promise, Rudi.

Now for a quick recap since the tornadoes of September.
-Logan actively swimming and was on three teams only last month. The school's JV team just ended their season. He's a little over 1+ seconds from making Jr Olympics for his 100-Breast. That is his next goal. One more meet will allow him this shot. He has 3 weeks to prepare.
-My contract at work is up in less than 3 weeks. I've been fortunate enough to have caught the eye of senior management and hope this influences my chance as full employee status. If not, I have a pretty neat alternative that is a little less secure but interesting change. (Have to keep it out there for the Universe to reflect...a whisper from Hippy Karen.)
-Weight loss at a stand still...still 2 lbs away from 90 lbs. Been near 3 months at this plateau. I have to conquer that internal voice that says "in due time." Maybe a devil within that I'm just used to having as a comforting friend. "Be gone ye devil!" shouts all the Karens.
-I have turned to a personal trainer who has traveled my path with lapband, rediscovery, and similar family background, plus shared beliefs. Welcome to my life, Dorothy. Together we will conquer the devil inside.
-Lastly, all is well. Life seems to be improving in all areas from cozy home, Logan's biggest fan. Still loving my job, seeing an end to debt...and starting to plan my future. Digging into my dreams and discovering who I am and what I'm meant to be.

Life is good.

"Dear Rudi,
Thank you for completing my mother and our family. You've brought a new facet to our lives and after 20+ years...I can't imagine life without you as part of us all. Happy Birthday My Stepfather!
Love & Hugs,
Karen"

NYC Tornado 2010

Another wacky day in the Big Apple yesterday. Work was as hectic as ever and, as usual, still at my desk at 5:30pm. I started hearing thunder & catching glimpses of lightning bolts. I waited a bit longer before leaving for the pounding rain to slow down. By the time I made it outside, I was surprised to see that not only was it not raining, but streets were drying out as well.

Made it to Penn with no problem. And then...big problem! All trains were suspended due to bad weather and a tree down on tracks outside tunnel. That is how the long night began.

I found a nice AC vent to stand under to wait for an announcement. I started texting when an old bus-commuter friend came up to me. {{{Flashback}}} Fiona & I often met at bus stop a long while ago where we would chat through the bus ride, throughout subway to final destination - Penn. I immediately said "Drinks?" Her response in her thick Irish Brogue, "Sure." So we went up to the bar, had some nips 'n sips and caught up. Once we realized we weren't getting a train we both grabbed our cells and texted our bosses. My boss is bigger then hers, within 15 my plight was handled. Fiona's shortly after. (SPOILER ALERT! Fiona got home way before me)

Now some folks may have bitched, moaned, groaned, & cursed at this hiccup in getting home. I saw this as an unexpected adventure. As I twittered (Facebook-style) "Stranded with people everywhere. Maybe I'll fine my Prince Charming in this crowd. After all, isn't that how good love stories begin?"

So now that you have a feel for how the night was headed, I'll bullet-point you through my night.

• Went to Hotel Penn to meet one of Lenny's drivers - Khan
• Blackberry locked - had to approach strangers to help me unlock it
• Lost texting- didn't know it & felt lonely while waiting and nobody responding to my texts
• Khan finally arrives
• Avoided major highways as all were stopped at a standstill
• Stopped for gas
• And talked to my new bestie Khan for 4.5 hrs. Simply stated...I hope drivers honor 'client confidentiality.' As long as "...whatever is stated in car STAYS in car..." Lots of laughs, shared secrets, and OMG comments for all the trees torn in half.
• Finally hit some open road after tree-strewn Woodhaven Blvd. accelerated from 0.05 to a good 65.
• Walked through house doors by 12:10a.a.m. the next morning. Logan, dad, animals...happy I made it!

Shout out to phone supporters: Jen, Tina, Karen, Dad and Logan
And thanks to Jen, Carol, Kate, Lenny, & of course, the mighty Khan (very tall man when he stepped out of car)

I had no complaints other than tired and long commute home - 7 hours since I left the office.

On a very serious note, it certainly was not an adventure for many people. It was especially sad to hear that a 30 year old woman was killed after pulling over to the side of the parkway and changing seats with her husband. Keep her in your prayers as well as her husband who is resting in hospital.

The National Weather Service has confirmed that two tornadoes touched down in New York on September 16, 2010. The tornadoes turned the sky from day to night, tore down trees and caused damage estimated to be in the millions.