and So It Begins Again

As a new year begins for a special man in my life, I thought it time to once again continue the ever-stop-and-start-again blogging of life in my butterfly world. Ironically, as I've shared in the past, butterflies live a short time but experience many stages of life. I too have experienced many changes since April 2008 when I first began this blog.

As another birthday approaches and secures my classification as middle-aged...mind you a very young one as I plan to live to 100+...I am experiencing a time of enlightenment.

I met somebody who made me (unbeknowst to him) rethink how I perceive myself. Just from a couple extremely comfortable conversations, I went from hearing old teenage-girl doubts to the current I-own-my-world beliefs. Within in 10 minute internal battle between angel on one shoulder and demon on other. My angel won. Yes, the devil seems to have velcro feet where I keep flicking him away and he pops right back up. But now, the angel holds on tight to my ear and keeps reminding me as Louise Hayes said "you are the absolute power in your world."

Thus, a new Karen has emerged. Allow me to introduce Hippy Karen. And I like her. From my law-o-attraction beliefs to my liberal and empathetic ways, I like this me. More on that too come; I promise, Rudi.

Now for a quick recap since the tornadoes of September.
-Logan actively swimming and was on three teams only last month. The school's JV team just ended their season. He's a little over 1+ seconds from making Jr Olympics for his 100-Breast. That is his next goal. One more meet will allow him this shot. He has 3 weeks to prepare.
-My contract at work is up in less than 3 weeks. I've been fortunate enough to have caught the eye of senior management and hope this influences my chance as full employee status. If not, I have a pretty neat alternative that is a little less secure but interesting change. (Have to keep it out there for the Universe to reflect...a whisper from Hippy Karen.)
-Weight loss at a stand still...still 2 lbs away from 90 lbs. Been near 3 months at this plateau. I have to conquer that internal voice that says "in due time." Maybe a devil within that I'm just used to having as a comforting friend. "Be gone ye devil!" shouts all the Karens.
-I have turned to a personal trainer who has traveled my path with lapband, rediscovery, and similar family background, plus shared beliefs. Welcome to my life, Dorothy. Together we will conquer the devil inside.
-Lastly, all is well. Life seems to be improving in all areas from cozy home, Logan's biggest fan. Still loving my job, seeing an end to debt...and starting to plan my future. Digging into my dreams and discovering who I am and what I'm meant to be.

Life is good.

"Dear Rudi,
Thank you for completing my mother and our family. You've brought a new facet to our lives and after 20+ years...I can't imagine life without you as part of us all. Happy Birthday My Stepfather!
Love & Hugs,
Karen"