Knights of the King

I hope you blogger junkies are enjoying your fill of entries. I've been in a writing sort of mood and hope this satisfies your fix. Now let me tell you about the Knights of the King...

Today at the end of mass, a gentleman got up to speak about a group that he organized last year for our Church called The Knights of the King. He went on to explain that this is a support group for men. My first thought, which I of course whispered to Mrs. Salerno, is "This is my type of group. Sign me up." ha! ha! And then I sat back to hear what he had to say and I nodded along with almost all statements.

The first thing Kevin pointed out was that back in the 50s men were portrayed on screen as the backbone and head of the family where he was responsible to provide the necessities as well as as being the moral fiber of the family. Nowadays men are depicted by such characters as Homer of The Simpsons or Al Bundy of Married with Children.

He was right.

When I think of all my favorite sitcoms, NEVER are the men the admirable parent, leader, or teacher. They are the loser divorcee with a bimbo girlfriend (The New Adventures of Old Christine or Reba), the old man sitting in front of the TV waiting for people do his bidding (Everybody Loves Raymond or Frazier), or the educated man who can't maintain a relationship (Ross of Friends or The Big Ban Theory.) There are so many more shows that make the father lovable but a still a needy character - to name a few Still Standing, George Lopez, and Home Improvement.

This group of men, The Knights, offers a place were men can get past the how-are-you stage in a conversation, past the score of the big game, and move on to how well or not-so-well they are handling the financial responsibilities that hang over them, the anxieties of changing times, the parenting problems, the marital discord, and whatever is missing from many homes. Not only will it be a safe haven for men's inner workings but a place to reconnect with their faith. After all, man or woman, weren't we all given the gift of baptism, whatever your faith may be?

Now I can tell you personally that my former-husband, my father, my stepfather, and my friends' husbands can make you think twice about the roles of a man. Some of them may imitate a show quite well (Bill!) and some may have follow a faith (Dad!), but most of them do not have a source of male support. Sure, they may get along with their wives' husbands and consider them friends...and some truly are friends...but maybe it would be good to see more men enjoy being a Knight of the King or at least develop their own K3 night with their peers. [Side note: I'm not comparing a Church group to our friendship, though I thank God for it every day!]

And as I like to always "leave them laughing," I end this post with a suggestion from Kerry...since I can't join this men's group, maybe I can hang out by the coffee as if I volunteer there and see what's available. Hmmm! An idea...who needs eHarmony when I can find me a Knight?!?

Nothing Better Than a K3 Night

Once again the almighty trio of Kelly, Kerry, and Karen hit the town. By now, if you've been reading this blog since its birth, you'll see a pattern between me and the other two - we like to get together once a month and catch up. Our evenings, most of the time, include dinner, drinks, and much fun. We are three women who enjoy our families but know how to enjoy ourselves selfishly. It is wonderful!

Last night, we had our annual Birthday Celebration. Since Kelly and I are only two days apart, we tend to celebrate on a bigger scale near our birthdays as compared to Kerry's May birthday. Stay tuned for that entry...we have something up our sleeve for the Gemini of our group.

This year we treated ourselves with saved monies and gift certificates to an evening at Nordstrom's Spa. The evening began with changing into our robes and then meeting in the solarium where we enjoyed soft music, soaking our feet in warm, soapy water, sipping herbal teas while have a warm towel-wrap placed on our necks and shoulders. It is a wonderful way to relax before a treatment for a good 20 minutes or so.

We then separated for facials for Kerry and me and a massage for Kelly. After a indulgent hour of being massaged, hydrated, and cleansed, we are given a chilled elixir to enjoy...as we settle the tab. (I have to add that gift certificates make this part less painful then it could be.)

From here after making the dutiful phone calls home to children (Kerry), husband (Kelly), and father (me - I'm just nice and considerate. No Electra complex here I promise you!), we made our way to TGIFs for appetizers and drinks.

Our nights together bring a serenity to our separate lives that I think all women should experience. Some of my dear friends -- who may be reading this very blog -- find these evenings to be outside their needs and/or comfort zones. I only hope that I never lose the value of these nights because there is something better to do. I mean really - what can be better than getting together with soul sisters and re-energize our soulful needs?

eHarmony - Is it Harmony or Something Else?

I was all excited to write a bit about my recent eHarmony experiences and was looking for a fun spin on the title. It was only when I really looked over the word that I realized other words that may work as well. Maybe eHormone-y or eWhoreMoney or eHARM-on-me. You decide.

Anyway enough on playing with the words. Let's see if you find a different spin once I fill you in on becoming an active eHarmony member. To the folks that live in a mayonnaise jar and may not have heard of it, eHarmony is an online relationship service. eHarmony matches men and women with compatible singles taking into consideration what it considers key dimensions of personality.

It was on New Year's Day that I decided it was time to get myself out there. After all, I am physically out there charming my way through trains, buses, subways, and elevators. And yet - no connections. I'm also active with Logan's sports and believe that I am "out there" as well. At parties, I interact and draw people in. So what's the problem. I refuse to believe it's my weight. I can think of two wonderful men who anybody would kill to be with one overweight and the other short, balding, big nose...but makes all the women feel fantastic. It's because of these two gents, that I realize that is somebody or somebodies out there looking for me and loving me as is...so on to my adventures.

I spent a good hour answering the 180+ questions for the Personality Profile. And once that was complete, I hit enter and BAM! there were seven matches. Now to be a match means that you share 29 dimensions of compatibility. Once the computer works that out with it's database, your personal preferences weed out the people who do not have what you're looking for. The preferences are on religion, drinking and smoking habits, children, distance, and education levels.

Oh! Did I forget to mention that you also post your photos on this? (Thanks for the photos Lindsay L.)

So back to BAM! seven matches. I immediately jumped on the phone to Kerry and started filling her in on what I just did. When Kerry asked "so what did you do?" I answered her with what I thought was quite obvious "I shut down the computer." As if that stopped the seven men from looking into my life. Ohhh, Karen!

The next steps are quite simple. If me or he is interested, you go to "1st questions" and ask five multiple choice questions that you choose from a list of 50+ choices. Me or he can choose to answer or end the relationship by clicking "Close Match." If questions are asked and answered, then it's time for the other person to counter with five more questions. At this point you've shared 10 questions, and go on to sharing Must Haves/Can't Stands. This is a list of things that you can't live with or without. for instance, I "must have" a mate who shares my beliefs and I "can't stand" somebody who plays the victim. The questions and statements are quite revealing.

So where do I stand...short version...since January 1, I have closed 100 matches and been closed by 40 men. I have been contacted by three men. Two closed me and one asked to communicate outside (that was the Valentine match that I mentioned earlier) since he only did the Free Communications Weekend and was not a member. I decided not to communicate with that person, because if they cannot invest and take advantage of the super-cheap one-month trial...I'm not interested in the Cheap Charlies.

And now that I have grown a set of marbles, I decided to clean out my lists which are sorted in folders as New, Interested, and Maybe. I closed out a bunch of men that kept me open but did not reach out to me and I reached out to three men that I would consider getting to know better. And guess what (here's where reading earlier posts add to the blog charm) if they don't reply or close the match ....drum roll...I guess He's-Just-Not-That-Into-Me! And I will survive.

So you've been fully briefed on the simpler side of eHarmony. Now you tell me is it eHarmony or eWhoremoney?

Winter Recess...at Home

This is the first time in a long while that I am home with Logan for the February break. We normally go for a week and visit the family in Florida. This year due to money and lack of as well as having seen my mom so much this past year helped me to decide to vacation at home.

I'll grant that it was cheaper but not as much fun as Florida. I figured we'd have a great time catching up with friends but almost everybody is away. Tina and family are in Florida, Kelly and family went up to Lucille's cabin, Michele was home for a quick cup of coffee but her kids had gone to Staten Island. But thankfully Zach was home for some marathon play dates with Logan.

So boredom put on the side, it was nice to NOT have anything to do. Logan and I caught up on some TV, enjoyed the "text" options on our cell phones and I've already read two books and working on the third one. I really can't complain since it's nice to just simply "be" in the moment.

Today Logan went over to Bill's for the rest of the break as I headed off to a funeral of a very dear and charming woman - Carol's mother Bea. It's been a rough year for Bea and her family and hopefully peace and strength can be found by all.

I have to say that I have never been to such a beautiful mass. Actually, if I remember correctly, Carol's father's funeral 10 years earlier also left quite an impression on me. For the father it was the four eulogies left by the adult children. This time it was the Priest and what he had to say. The Father read a story from an old Irish monastery. It reminded us that even though our normal way of communications have changed, it is as if the loved one has gone into another room, out of site but not out of mind, and that we should continue to talk to them and feel their presence as we would being together since the bond of love can never be severed. I cannot due this poignant story justice but I will certainly be contacting the Church for this version. I would like to save it for my own...50+ years from now...and hope it brings comfort to my loved ones.

I used to be fixated on death but have more recently learned the value of living for today. I really think my lapband is to thank for that. All the years I thought that if I just got my eating in control, life would change drastically. Well, guess what? I have the eating in control but life has not changed so much. I am increasing my exercise but again life is not that different. I still wake up, go to work, take care of Logan, visit with friends, and do my daily living. And you know what...that is my life and I love it. I will say it's nice to know that I will not gain weight and that I will get in better shape with each passing day. But I'm no longer in it for the "outcome." I'm in it for the long haul and enjoying each sunny, rainy, warm, cold, boring, exciting, rich, and poor days. Because once I finally get there, what's next?

So I end this entry with a reminder that today is tomorrow's memory - so let's make it a good one!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Last week Kelly, Kerry, and I caught the new comedy He's Just Not That Into You. It was fun and reminded us of how ridiculous we were as young women. I found it to be right on target. For instance, the movie begins with a little girl being pushed down on the playground and called a bad name by a boy. Her mother consoles her by telling her that he only did what he did...here's the set-up...because he liked her. He liked her!?!

Aaaaaaagh!!! That was the first of many "enabling" words of advice that a female shares with another female to soften the blow. But maybe ripping off the band-aid would be the better way to go. Who needs words of comfort? It hurts, so get it over with and move on. Basically, be a man about it.

I'm happy to say that after all these years, I understand that if a man was interested in me after meeting me, he WOULD ask for my number. And if we went on a date and I didn't hear from him again, I WOULD understand that he wasn't interested. End of story. No explanations needed. No "he needs time" or "he's not ready for a serious relationship" or even "just wait a few days/weeks/months."

Not wanting to air Logan's private stories, I can only say that my son recently learned for the first and I'm sure not the last time, that She's Just Not That Into You. So even though I am past the drama of misconstrued, misunderstood, and misplaced love, I will have to relive it again and again through his experiences. Ugh!

But to sum it all up...he's all man! Before the night was over, he was over her and onto the next one. Truly amazing! Less than 18 hours later, a new interest on the horizon and this time an older lady! A 7th grader! You go, boy! As a mother of a son with no daughters, I am officially rooting for the boys' team for now on.

And to end this little blog with a teaser...

Today is Valentine's Day and I am happy to say that I got a nice hit from an interesting eHarmony match. I'll keep you posted. I'm ready for Cupid and leave off singing

"Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow go, straight to my lover's heart..."

"Happy Birthday to Me...and My Dad-dy!"

"It's my birth-day!" Okay, not today but two days ago. Today is my dear dada's 72nd birthday. Wow - where did the time go? It seems like it was only yesterday that he was 71. Ha ha ha! Sorry, birthdays make me giddy.

If you know me, you know that I love birthdays and absolutely looooooooooove my birthday. It is a day dedicated to me. Everybody who calls to wish me a happy birthday is answered by "It's my birthday!" Again, they are calling to wish me just that, but I have to reiterate that it is indeed MY birthday. I don't need presents, just bare adulation from those in my life.

My birthday usually spread over a few days. This year was no different. Kelly, Kerry, & I had another one of our famous "K3" days. We went to the movies and saw He's Just Not That Into You and then on for drinks and appetizers at Houlihans. Lots of laughter and before, during, and after the movie. Definite chick-flick but I'm happy to say at the tender age of 30+, I realize that I do not need this advice. If a guy doesn't ask me out or were to follow up a date with a call, I get that he's just not into me. But for the younger Karen,this movie might have been a bright lightbult for me.

Onto actual birthday...met up with Kelly, Tina, and Anna for breakfast and more laughs. The day rounded out with Logan & Dad and me enjoying half an ice-cream cake. Mind you it was a Carvel's Little Love and you can only cut six small slices. In about 30 minutes, we'll go upstairs to celebrate dad's and finish off the ice cream cake.

Tomorrow at work, Robyn, Jen, Irene, and Gisele are taking me out as our Birthday Club to have lunch at Chevy's Mexican restaurant. We love this place! I think we do it for just about every body's birthday. And that will end my birthday celebrations for 2009.

Update on the rest of my life:

Logan's swimming is going great. They handed out some past place ribbons at last night's practice. He received 3 Blue Ribbon (1st place), 2 Red Ribbons (2nd place), and 3 White Ribbons (3rd place.) He is a swimming machine!

I'm running up to dad for our night of LOST and will catch you up on Logan's latest school adventures tomorrow or the next day. And don't forget..."It was my birthday!"

"What Shadow?"

Once again, we have no idea which groundhog to listen too. The PA groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow; the Staten Island groundhog, Charles G. Hogg, did not. Now Phil has been around longer, but Charles bit the mayor. Who to believe...tradition or one that takes no crap from the government?!? Since there's two inches of fresh snow outside, I should believe Phil, BUT it's supposed to go up to 54 degrees this Saturday. What a quandry!

Speaking of shadows, my Shadow is not doing so well. His original bad leg is really pretty bad. I now only let him out on a 15 foot lead that I hook to the clothesline when he steps out the back door. This has limited his racing away or jumping at the squirrels and neighboring dogs. I took him off his pain killers (not the anti-inflammatories which he needs from now on.) I may start him on them again, but I'm not sure if they take away pain and then he misuses the leg. I'm torn. Silly dog has also got into the habit of going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. He sits by my bed and stares at my head as he quietly whines. He's too cute & pathetic to ignore, so we do a nightly traipse outside. Ugh! Good thing I love to go back to bed for a couple of hours. Which brings me back to an old memory...

When I was dating Bill about 18 years ago (gulp! I'm old!), I had gone to Germany for the weekend. Bill was staying at my apartment taking care of my dog Buster. When I called him one evening, he asked me "Why the _ _ _ _ does your alarm clock go off at 4:00 am?" To me it made perfect sense. My reply "So I can get a couple extra hours sleep in the morning before I HAVE to get up." He should have known then what he was getting into.

Life is busy as I write this. Work is slow but I am becoming a W2 employee for ML's third party vendor. It seems all these years as an Independent Contractor was not a proper category for me since my duties and time were dictated by the office. All this means is that I will now get my taxes taken out of my check and -- good news -- I would be entitled to some important benefits such as 401K, life insurance, and I believe disability and unemployment if things got rough down the line.

Logan is busy too. He spends a bit too much time texting his friends, but I'm hoping this is the honeymoon period of popularity. Ironically enough this Casanova spends most times texting between Katie, Hannah, Julianna, and I believe Ashley still texts occasionally. Valentine's Day is coming up in less then two weeks. His school is selling "Be Mine" bracelets similar to the famous Lance Armstrong bracelets that were very popular years ago. Logan will get one and maybe by then, know who to give it too. Ahh! The problems of young love!

I'm doing well with my exercising. Really enjoying the Jane Fonda Workout that I do from a book from the 80s. It is a well-rounded work out. The Latin dancing is a bit too complicated but we still try to stab at that since walking is becoming a bit difficult this time of year between ice, darkness, and cold air. Hoping to hit the 60 lb mark before my big birthday next week. It will be my eleventh anniversary of my 30th birthday.

That's it for now folks. Be sure to add a comment so I can see who is keeping tabs of me.