Moving Along...Finally

It has happened. I now exercise regularly. Yep, looks like I turned that corner. Now some of you couldn't understand the point of having a Personal Trainer and NOT exercising regularly. Well, I blame it on those darn neurons in that thick, pretty head of mine. Negative reinforcement...negative feelings...and pride in an ugly form.

I am happy to have added what I call Walkwalkjog to my daily routine. I wake up early -- yes, I hear your voice, Mom, loud and clear -- and walk 2 blocks & jog 1 for 30 min. I don't really like it. In fact, I dread the "jog line" that I see in my head as I cross the street after my second Walking Block. On the other hand, I do like the "walk line" that greets me after that single Jogging Block.

I asked Jen, who runs, "Why does my butt hurt?" She said that it's a good hurt. So I guess that's my butt's way of saying "you go, girl!"

Let me also add to this Moving Along post that I enjoyed my second week of my once-a-week Chakra Movement class. I felt a wee bit more flexible. What I did gain from last night's class is that one of the girl's that I find very motivating is slightly juicy and reminds me that real women have curves. Just watching her move her body and get lost in the music, helps me to refocus my image of what a real woman is. THAT is my block with all that I do. I realize that I never could visualize myself as a girl with curves...or maybe see myself as a woman. I guess it's time to let that girl leave my head and welcome that woman home with all her strengths and overcome any lingering weaknesses. After all, from age-old pinups like Bettie Page and Marilyn Monroe to the more recent current day beauties as in Emme and Kate Winslet - all "saftig" (German for Juice-y!) and all quite real. Doable. Reachable. Obtainable.

After all, I AM woman...aren't I?!?

Yep, I am.

My Experience as a Goddess

Remember how I shared this year (my Year of the Cougar) that my theme song is "I Am Woman?" Well, sit back and get ready to smirk & shake your head gently...

I went to a Goddess class last night. This is a group of 9 or 10 woman who meet once a week for a class on energizing the Chakras spots through dance movements and guided meditation with a little Reiki thrown in.

Picture this: gathering in a parlor area of a small shop specializing in honoring woman with perfumes, statues, beautiful jewelry, and books on inspiration & meditation. In the back is a light wooden floor with a wall to ceiling mirror on one side and a beautiful mural of Bottacelli's Venus on the back wall and tulle on the ceiling sparkling with white lights in this dimly lit room.

Now that you can visualize the surroundings, let me share the evening as I experienced it.

Soft music plays as we gather around and introduce ourselves and share a challenge and a success. Then with scarves lined with coins tied around out waists, we line up and follow Jessimina as she takes us through a 50 minute Chakras movement session. This sort of belly-dancing (there goes the smirk) and movement works the muscles and energizing the different Chakras spots.

The movements are all so graceful when demonstrated by Jess, but quite awkward for beginners. To motivate me even more was another first timer, a young blind lady with her guide dog. Any awkwardness that I felt, disappeared as gratitude for my body swelled and at the same time such respect for this...Goddess. Truly, how inspiring.

The next 20 minutes or more, as time seemed to stop, was spent on meditation. Some laid down on mats, as I sat listening to a CD of guided meditation walking you through all the Chakras spots. Jess then walked around and gave Reiki massage to all. My eyes remained closed and without a sound, I felt Jess' touch. It was not a physical touch, it was an almost warm, tingly sensation spreading through my upper back. (There goes the gentle shaking of the head.)

We ended with sitting up and trying to connect our thoughts to somebody special. An exercise is connecting to the world through their eyes.

As I know it sounds a bit out there, I have finally grasped what has come over me. I have always held fast to my Faith and will continue to do so. It's just that I am now adding spirituality to my Faith and honoring myself in the process. I am the happiest that I can remember. I am peaceful. And finally, I am excited as each day is here. No more looking to the tomorrows when everything will line up just right. Tomorrow is here for me. All is good in my world. Namaste!

Silver Championship - Day Two...

Today is Logan's second day at the Silver Championships. This meet is the end of the "short course" season for many swimmers. There are some that will move on to Jr Olympics and even the final stop the Zone.

Day one found Logan in three events with one resulting in a ribbon for his beloved breaststroke (100 - 4 laps.). Today finds him in one event: 200 Breast. And then in the afternoon, he's off to the CYO meet.

He will now begin to train for the "long course" which has 50 meter lanes - 16" longer then usual 50 ft (2 x 25" laps that include a flip turn.) Looking forward to seeing how this extended swimming will improve his sprints.

To help visualize the challenges of the long course, one of his buddies, had to be helped out of the pool after a 200 Fly. These 4 laps + extra 64" were quite a challenge. As a spectator, we cannot appreciate what a turn with a kick off the wall does for them. Not sure if the swimmers get it at first either...but they soon do.

Cheers to my Aquaman's past season & excited to see his growth as a swimmer for his next adventure.

March 9: Logan received a 5th Place Medal for his 100 Breast.

Law of Attraction

Several months ago, at the suggestion of a very successful friend, I read Louise Hay's book "Heal Your Life." This 1970s book touched my soul as her beliefs and words clarified my beliefs. From there, I read Arielle Ford's "Manifestly Your Soulmate" with the Law of Attraction.

Both books shared something that was easily digestable to me. Both believed that we need to love ourselves and accept that we are lovable as we are now. In the present body shape, the present financial condition, and whatever stage our current life path was on.

Now, I was fortunate to have been brought up by a mom who did not believe in guilt or regret. In the same token, brought up by a father who gave me my faith which is the basis of forgiving and caring about others. So, I got what Louise and Arielle was saying.

This has lead me to understand that believing I deserve goodness and that I am indeed worthy, has led to my many good moments.

Me and mom are blessed with finding parking spots up front in crowded parking spots. This example of a good moment dictates my life.

Now, I'm not saying my life was all rosy. However, I do believe in the most parts...it was and is.

The Law of Attraction has been proven to exist. It is simply asking, believing, and receiving. Seems simple, but our internal voices squash an encouraging outcome because we cancel out what we desire. I turn to my higher power (God) and refer to my Universe (still God) and seem to have learned how to quiet that negative voice.

This all happened when I met somebody unexpectedly for a brief 30 minutes who I connected with and left feeling great. It was only when it was revealed that he was younger then me (by Logan - thanks, son!) that I said to myself, "why would he want me? I'm old. He could find younger AND prettier, thinner. Within 5 minutes or so, I shouted inside "No! Out!" as I had stored subconsciously this gem from Louise. I realized several things. #1 - if there was a connection, he already met me, saw me, knows what I look like and recognized I was older. #2 - if he chose me (and I him as I'm part of the process too), I had to not every make an issue of "me" as there will always be younger and prettier girls throughout time. It was a release of my personal demon and block.

Now, I live each day knowing that I am worthy as I am. I've always said that...but only now do I believe. So I ask, CAN now believe, and am ready to receive. More LoA coming your way as there is too much to share on this one post. So go forward and ask, believe, and joyfully receive. I am.

Turning a Corner

Growing up, I always leaned towards, what I called it then, a Positive Energy. I'd joke with friends as I waved my hands across my body, like fanning smoke, and would say, "You're messing with my Chi."What does a 13 year old know about Chi? I'd give out Hug Therapy when friends were down or whip out bubbles at work and declare a Bubble Break. And when I heard a Tsk! or heavy sigh, I'd squirm a bit and try to ignore what it threw in my direction. I never was taught about auras. Though the idea of coloring people's energies did not seem far-fetched to my younger self.

Now, fast forward to the present time, and my belief system is finally becoming clear. In the past few months, as you might have gleamed from my recent posts, I seemed to have finally understanding my personal beliefs better.

For me, it all comes down to living and loving wherever and at whatever stage of life we are in. The tougher moments allow us to recognize the better moments. The better moments allow us to endure and get through the tougher moments. And if we will allow ourselves to help others AND ask for help when no volunteers present...then it is all good.

Recently, I asked Tina to bring Logan to swimming one morning during the school break when I had to work. I realized her three kids would be sleeping and that gave her a chance to relax in her beloved pajamas (Tina LOVES her rare pajama-time.) I will say knowing there might be a few of them that week for her, helped me to ask this favor. And...hardly doubting her answer...she said "yes." It felt good, and I know when was happy to help me.

Actually, it was Tina who recently told me I don't have to do it all alone. At that time, she had called Kelly to bring me for a procedure a few months ago when she was unable. I told her to not be silly as Kelly lived three towns away and a cab would cost only $5 or $$6. She (they) would not hear of it.

So now I continue to grow to appreciate that we all need to do things, feel needed, and appreciate being able to help as well as to ask and accept help.

Now, I began this post with positive energy, because of where my posts are headed. I seem to be touching on this energy as the core of who I am and want to continue to be. And with that, I end this post and begin another on the Law of Attraction.

Winter Recess

Looking forward to Logan's school break next week. Usually, we had to Florida for annual family visit. Money and the unpredictably weather grounded us home. I need to sneak in one day to work (it's an addiction and maybe some consider an obsession) but then its just great Karen-Catch-Up time.

Looking forward to a weekend of swim meets. They are super early each day, but not as unGodly as ice hockey. The pools are usually a good 30-50 min away. Need to arrive 1 hour 15 min early. Bleacher seats are tight and uncomfortable. You're there maybe four hours. People walk by and block your vision. All this to hopefully see your child in the water for the least of time. Translation: 3 races = 5 min or less in pool...worth every minute!

Also excited for some great friend-time. As Logan hangs in his social circle more and more, there is more "me" time. Good thing that I like me. I have some gifts cards burning holes in my pocket, renovated first-class library to hole up in, and some home projects hanging over me. Even more fun is time planned to be with friends. We have a Winter Cheer, dinners out, and some quiet cocktail moments planned.

Ahhh-Winter Recess...what's not to love!

90 and Loving It!

With limited effort, I did it...3 months later...down those last 2 lbs bringing me to a total loss of 90 lbs. As I said, this is - for me - a slow process but fitting into my life just fine. At the 60 lb mark, last May, I said "one day, it'll all come together." Well, it's February, and still waiting for that day. Could it be February 16, 2011? Hmmm! Maybe.

It really was neat as I stepped on and off scale 3x to make sure it wasn't just the way I leaned or wiggled. Truth be told, if it was a lean or a wiggle...I want to remember which way to lean or direction to wiggle next time.

My personal trainer keeps coming every other week. I'm not committed to the dark side yet (yes, exercise is the 'dark' side to me.) Though, I am making tweaks and am more aware of my activities and breathing.

Good news. This may or may not be a shocker...I AM getting the hang of meditating. (The opposite of the dark side.) That being the Karen Meditation Method. I try a few times a week to sit quietly, listen to Gregorian chants, light some Jasmine incense...and clear my mind. For somebody with so much running through my head, I seemed to have a much easier time then you would think emptying my mind. Loving it!

So I end this post, with a saying my sister shared with me...

"Onward and downward!"